The Addict

Just wrote this one on the spot. Feedback welcome as always.

The addict slaps his vein
over and over again-
furiously and ravenously-
to rid himself of the itch he’s felt all day.

The orgy of shapes and sounds before him
twist and gyrate with merciless abandon,
sucking him deeper and deeper into the pit,
draining him of his pride and shattering his will.

The addict desperately reaches for a ledge
on his umpteenth attempt to escape the pit;
anything out there
that could serve as a viable alternative will do.
Anything.

But just as he feels he’s reached the event horizon
he is sucked in once more
and falls helplessly on his back,
crushed by the combined weight of guilt and addiction.

He laments this newest addition to his collection of failures
and returns to his maudlin routine and perverse spectacles.
But then he rises once more to best the pit,
refusing to yield and crumble
under the weight of guilt and addiction.

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About optimistthepessimist

Always in transit.
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3 Responses to The Addict

  1. Ilija says:

    Grimly eloquent. My only other comments/edits would be to remove the “The” from the first line of the second stanza and the “The addict” from the first line of the third stanza. So the respective lines would look like:
    “Orgy of shapes and sounds before him” <– first line from second stanza
    "Desperately reaches for a ledge" <– first line from third stanza

  2. I’ll have to agree with the first comment, brate, but I honestly don’t like the way it’ll look with “desperately reaches…”

  3. Nabil says:

    As Ilija put it, it’s grimly eloquent. I like it.

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