Pipe

“This pipe won’t stay lit,” Collin grumbled to himself. Hair-like clumps of tobacco lay scattered about on his desk, as if a tornado had passed through on a genocidal rampage.
The steady thumping of electronic music was his sole companion for the evening-he’d long since moved out of dorms on account of graduation and felt more homesick now then he did four years ago.
He’d decided that with the change in scenery some other changes were in order, namely his smoking habit.
Pipe smoking seemed a better choice: it came with the sophistication and stronger buzz that it advertised, and best of all, took more time to actually smoke as opposed to simply pulling a cigarette out of its pack and lighting it. Quitting, Collin decided, was worth the extra effort.
He emptied the pipe’s bowl and scooped the burnt tobacco fragments into the trash can with a frustrated grimace and took a sip of whisky. He decided to consult his old roommate, Tom, on this matter: Tom was well-versed in all things smoke-able and was already in the process of opening his own tobacco shop. Collin logged in to Facebook and looked up Tom’s name in the chat list.
“Hey, Tom” he wrote.
“Wuddup?” Tom answered seconds later.
“Do you know anything about pipe smoking?”
“Yeah, man. Why?”
“Just bought one the other day for like 20 bucks and something’s not right with it,”
“That’s a cheap pipe, bro.” Tom answered after about a minute. He was probably rolling himself a joint or had lost himself in some video. Collin was about to call Tom out of his possible trance when he began following up his message with,
“Im too stoned to think. Have you tried cleaning it?” Collin took another sip of whisky and typed,
“No need, I just started using it tonight,”
“Clean it anywy. Use cognac or any other form of booze avlbl” Collin cocked an eyebrow and reached for a cloth to dab it in whisky. He pulled the pipe in two and started with the bowl before moving on to the mouthpiece. He took two puffs.
“Cleaned it with some whiskey,” he reported.
“Cool. Now,” Tom typed before zoning out yet again.
“Now what?”
Ok, so there’s not gonna be much cake there, right?”
“Cake?”
“Ya the layer of carbon residue that builds up with use. Anyway this helps the tobacco burn better but since youre just starting out itll take some time to build up. just keep trying and you’ll get there.” Collin thanked him and smiled to himself.
Tom may have been stoned out of his mind but could never be questioned on all things smoking under any circumstances. Collin packed his pipe once again, but this time in a gentle manner; it was probably on account of UFO playing in the background.
He took one more sip of whisky before lighting a match and placing it to the bowl.
It was gonna take a while to finally quit smoking, but Collin had all the time in the world.

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About optimistthepessimist

Always in transit.
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